Out of nothing more than habit and a memory of mama stuffing notebooks with everything from 4 leaf clovers to recipes, I picked up the tattered pages with scribbles on the cover and shook it slightly.
These three photos fell out, only slightly bent and discolored after being stuck in this book for who knows how many years.
Best I can remember, I was running from a bad breakup and ended up 3 hours away at my sistercousins to regroup, reconnect, and reclaim who I was. I texted her these pictures and asked her if she remembered taking them and who I was running from. She vaguely remembered taking the pics but had no idea if the running was from my first husband, or some of the few bad choices I made along the way.
We do know it was more than 30 years ago.
I look at these pictures and see a woman who was desperately seeking confirmation that she was worthy still of love and affection, and not totally crazy for activating her flight-or-fight buttons and heading out of town.
I see a woman on the cusp of figuring a few things out and continuing with life, learning along the way and powering through the disappointments and struggles, looking ahead for the sunrise filled with the same rain that cleanses our soul and dampens our hopes.
Life is a learning curve, a roller coaster, and skating on thin ice all at the same time.
There are no right and wrong answers, only choices that drive us down the path, which is filled with pot holes, detours, and construction.
The fact that the path is also filled with sunsets, mountain vistas, daisies, and people we love is the reason we continue.
with Glitter & Grace,
*written by Sasha Gray